


I Know You

by Vulcanmi



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Fluff and Humor, M/M, Memory Loss, Original series continuation, Telepathic Bond, Transporter Malfunction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-26
Updated: 2017-11-10
Packaged: 2018-12-20 02:21:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11911200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vulcanmi/pseuds/Vulcanmi
Summary: When a mission gone wrong leaves Uhura and Spock without their memories, Kirk is at a loss. Fortunately, Spock seems to remember him, at least. Not so fortunately, he also seems to think that they're in a relationship.





	1. Purgani

**Author's Note:**

> I started this on my 13-hour flight back home to kill time. Will probably be pretty short. I wanted a good old fashioned Star Trek adventure with some Kirk and Spock goodness. 
> 
> This is really based on the original series, but could also be for the reboot versions if you prefer.
> 
> Stardate is probably inaccurate. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

_Captain's log, stardate 6001.2 First officer Spock has found traces of a particular plant life needed to create the only known antidote for the Parcelian Flu that is plaguing several members aboard the Enterprise, including our Medical Officer. We have followed his scans to a class M planet named Purgani just within the bounds of Federation territory, and it's lucky that we did. Another twenty-four hours and the flu could begin to do permanent damage, according to Dr. McCoy before he became too feverish to speak. I intend to gather enough of the plant life to create the antidote without disturbing the planet's natural cycle. It is on Federation maps but not much is written save for it is devoid of life, and has a breathable atmosphere._

"Spock, Sulu, Uhura, with me. Mr. Scott, you have the con." 

"Aye aye, sir." The Scotsman gave his captain a cheerful salute, and walked down from the engineering station to slide into the captain's chair. 

They were all in a good mood, now that the materials they needed had been found. Harvesting shouldn't take too long, and processing even less time. They were fairly certain the virus had snuck on board along with the Kaltrian ambassador from Kalta IV, who they'd needed to transport to Starbase 12 on official federation business. The Kaltrians were immune to most known pathogens that could typically infect humans, but their planet did hold a number of them.

A mistake and oversight on both sides, but hopefully one that would be remedied without issue. 

Kirk moved down the hall at a brisk pace, his friend and First Officer matching his stride. "Were you able to get a read on the plant's location Mister Spock?"

"The Andra flower appears to dot the surface in large quantities, captain. We shouldn't have a problem finding many soon upon arrival. I will, however, calibrate my tricorder to it's unique spore pattern, so that we may find a field. I believe that will be easier than wandering about picking what we see."

"Yes I believe you're right." Kirk gave Spock a grateful smile. Were Spock human, Kirk would have placed a hand on his arm, to thank him for the calibration of sensors that led them to their current destination. But he was not, and Kirk knew Spock would see the gratitude in his eyes all the same. 

Once the four of them reached the transporter room, Kirk gave a nod to the technician and stepped up onto the platform, Spock, Sulu, and Uhura following close behind.

"Did you receive my coordinates?" Spock asked, resting his hands behind his back.

The technician, a young officer by the name of Dalia was quick to respond. "I did, sir, punching them in now."

Spock nodded, and Kirk inhaled, fingers thrumming restlessly against his thighs. He much preferred missions of danger, or even diplomatic missions to something like this, something so time-sensitive. He knew all would be fine, the hard part was over, but the fact was if those plants weren't on board the ship soon many people could lose their sight, their ability to walk— or worse, their lives. 

"Energize," he instructed when Ensign Dalia gave the nod that she was ready, and soon the familiar tingle of transportation bloomed in his chest. 

When Kirk next blinked, he was on the planet. Or so he assumed. He found himself inside a large, damp cavern, the sound of trickling water reaching one ear. Kirk rubbed the other, looking around. "Spock? Uhura? Sulu?" There was no one behind him. 

Growing panicked, Kirk turned in all directions, scanning the space around him. The cavern had walls of dark blue stone, and the ceiling was covered in a luminous, blue moss. 

Kirk reached for his communicator, relieved to find it still at his side. He flipped it open, bringing it to his mouth. "Spock?" 

Nothing but static. 

"Uhura? Sulu?"

Static crackled back at him. Kirk inhaled deeply, pursing his lips. "Scotty, come in Scotty. This is Captain Kirk to Enterprise, come in Enterprise, Scotty, can you hear me?"

"Captain! Yes, we can hear you. And glad of it!"

Relief flooded the captain. He swallowed, bringing the communicator closer. "Scotty, were Lieutenant Uhura, Mister Spock, and Lieutenant Sulu transported down to the planet?"

"Aye sir, sure as you were. What's the problem?" In his worry, Scotty's accent grew thicker over the speaker.

"The problem is that they're not here."

There was a momentary pause, and then the communicator crackled back to life. "But captain, the sensors say they're standing right next to you."

Kirk whipped around again, wondering if it was possible, in his panic, to have merely missed them for so long. But no, they were not there. "Don't play games Scotty, if they were right next to me, I'd see them!"

"Hold a moment Captain..."

The static began to whisper between Scott's words, and Kirk turned the dials on the communicator, hoping to create a stronger signal. "Scott? Can you hear me?"

"...Yes sir. It appears the sensors were being cheeky with us. The crew is right next to you— but on different elevations." 

Kirk looked up, frowning. "How is that possible? The transporter was given the same coordinates..."

"I couldna tell you."

Kirk shook his head. "This doesn't make any sense... I'm positive Spock was planning to have us beam to an open area, I'm in some sort of cavern."

"Captain? Captain, can you hear me? You're breaking up."

Kirk brought the communicator closer, fiddling with the dials again. "Scotty?"

"Sorry sir, the signal's being stressed something fierce. You need to get to a higher location."

"A higher— what do you mean? Is something wrong with the Enterprise? It can't be my communicator, it—"

"No, nothing's wrong with the Enterprise, sir. It's just a little hard to pick up a signal, from two thousand kilometers beneath the surface of a planet."

Kirk staggered, arm falling down to his side at this information. Two thousand kilometers? How? He swallowed, looking around the place he found himself in once more. A spot he hadn't noticed before caught his eye, an elevated passageway, perhaps four feet off the ground.

"Captain, are you there?"

"I'm... here Scotty. Is there any way you can beam us back up?"

"Sorry Captain, I'm afraid the storm—"

"Storm?" Kirk interrupted, brow's drawing together. "There was clear space when we transported down." 

"Aye sir, but that was over an hour ago. That storm rolled in fast. We thought that was the reason why you took so long to contact us."

"Took so—" Kirk paused, taking a deep breath. When he thought he could speak without shouting, he gave his head a slow shake, staring at his communicator as if it would give answers. "Scotty, that is impossible. I've only just—"

"Sorry captain, you're breaking up. Try to find a place where you can get a better signal, we'll try contacting you in a half hour if we don't hear anything. Scott out."

Kirk stared, brain having a difficult time processing the circumstances. Apparently he and the rest of the landing party had been out of contact for an hour. In that time, a storm appeared around the planet, and he, Spock, Uhura and Sulu were separated. 

None of it added up.

He closed his communicator, slipping it back onto his belt. First thing was first, he had to find the others. 

Kirk headed for the passageway, getting a small running start and pulling himself up with ease. The rock was oddly warm. He looked at his hands as he stood, finding them stained with a strange, blue substance.

Kirk grimaced, wiping it off on his pants and continuing forward. 

The passage way was narrow, and the further he went, the more narrow it got, until he had to sidle sideways in order to keep moving through.

The sound of trickling water followed him everywhere he moved.

"Spock!" He called down the long corridor. An echo answered back. As Kirk walked, he tried to puzzle out the situation. There was chance of a transporter malfunction. Perhaps the approaching storm had been close enough to damage it? But then it certainly would have come up on the sensors. 

The other option was of course some sort of interference. There was not supposed to be life on this planet, but if Kirk had a credit for every time the federation had been wrong about a planet being devoid of life...

His lips twisted up into a wry smile. 

Kirk traveled alone in the damp, empty darkness, the mossy patches on the ceiling not doing much to light his way.

Footsteps. 

Kirk twisted a finger into his ear, shaking his head. "Spock? Sulu? Uhura? That you?" 

The footsteps stopped. Kirk stopped as well, listening. When a few moments passed where he heard nothing, he began moving quicker, desperate not to let whoever it was get away.

"Hello? Can you hear me? Show yourself!"

The footsteps started up again, but this time at a run, instead of the leisurely pace they had been. Kirk doubled his pace, moving as quickly as he could in such a tight space.

Finally the passageway ended, into a smaller cavern where several tunnels branched off. In the leftmost one, he saw a shadow travel down the wall. 

"Wait!" Kirk sprinted after that shadow, putting his Starfleet training to the test.

Whoever it was, they were fast. As he entered the tunnel, he could see their figure up ahead, slim and dark in the dim light. 

"Wait!"

Kirk picked up the pace, reaching out a hand. Gritting his teeth, he overcame the fleeing shadow in a burst of speed, and snatched at their arm. 

They turned with a horrified scream, stumbling into his chest from the momentum. 

Immediately, a familiar scent filled Kirk's nostrils, and he eased his grip, eyes widening as he stared down into the face of his communications officer. "Uhura?"

"Please, let me go!" 

There was no mistaking the beautiful woman, her deep eyes staring up at him a sight he knew well. But there was no recognition in them.

Kirk obliged, holding his hands up. "Uhura, where are the others?"

Uhura stumbled a few steps back, curling her fingers into her skirt. "What others? It's just... it's just me."

Kirk grew impatient. "Spock, Sulu, where are they?"

"Who?"

"Now is not the time to play games, Lieutenant!" Kirk advanced, and suddenly the quivering, frightened beauty turned deadly. Uhura dropped down, sweeping out a leg and sending his own tumbling out from underneath him.

Kirk grunted as he fell, just barely catching himself. Uhura was off like a shot down the tunnel again a moment later.

Kirk was momentarily stunned, unable to believe it. It was as if she didn't even know who he was. "Wait, Uhura!" He stood with some difficulty, ankles and knees burning.

She looked over her shoulder, eyes wide. "Why do you keep calling me that?" she cried.

That made Kirk slow to a halt. He regarded her with a deep frown, and she stopped too, seeming to feel more secure now that there was some distance between them. "That... that is your name."

Uhura shook her head, lifting her hands to her head. "It... is?"

"Yes... Lieutenant Uhura, communications officer of the starship Enterprise. I'm Captain James Kirk. Don't you remember?"

"Captain...?"

For a moment, Kirk hoped that she understood, but in her face was nothing but confusion. 

"I can't remember much of anything... I woke up here alone, in these strange clothes, in this strange place... where are we?" Uhura stared at him hard.

Kirk was at a loss. He pulled out his communicator, shaking his head to steady himself when he realized his hands were shaking. "This is Kirk to Enterprise, Kirk to Enterprise. Come in Enterprise."

"..." 

Kirk closed his communicator a little harder than necessary, looking back up to Uhura. "Look, I don't know where we are either. We were supposed to be on a simple mission, to gather plants to create an antidote for the Parcelian Flu. There were two more of us. If we want to get out of here, we have to find them and try to get to the surface."

Uhura was silent, watching him with an almost predator-like intensity. "All right, Kirk. But you stay ten paces away from me at all times, understood?" 

It pained Kirk to hear a friend speak to him like that, but he nodded his understanding. He held up his hands in an offer of peace. "I'm sorry for frightening you. I thought you might be the person who'd done this to us."

She gave him a skeptical look.

"In my defense, you didn't answer when I asked who you were."

"I thought _you_ were whoever did this to me," she said in retaliation, turning on her heel and moving further down the passage. 

Kirk frowned. "Where you woke up, what was around you?"

"Nothing much, just more cave. I climbed for a long time to get up here."

"Climbed?"

"Yes. There were stairs, down one of those other tunnels."

"Well if there were stairs, that means there are people... somewhere.

Uhura wrapped her arms around herself. "I'm not sure I want to find people. I don't understand, these caves are so empty. They don't look natural at all, but there's no one _here_."

At Uhura's words, Kirk looked around. Indeed, the cave walls did not look so much like rock as he'd originally assumed. He moved closer, rapping his knuckles against it. A hollow sound met his ears. 

"Fascinating." Kirk imagined he could hear his friend in his ear, and wondered what he'd already managed to figure out about this place with his tricorder. 

"Fascinating? More like creepy."

Kirk sighed, lips twitching up. "Let's just keep moving." As strange as Uhura was acting aside, it was nice not to be alone. He couldn't help but be worried though. Had she hit her head? She'd need to get medical attention as soon as possible...

They needed to find those plants, too. They didn't have time to solve the riddles this planet was trying to throw at them.

The smile dropped off Kirk's face.

As promised, Kirk remained a good distance away from Uhura as she led the way down the tunnel. He had one hand on his phaser, keeping an eye out for any potential dangers. Every so often she'd glance over her shoulder at him, a frown on her lips.

On one occasion, she didn't turn back. "Kirk, do you hear water?"

"I've been hearing it since I arrived," he sighed.

She shook her head. "No, it sounds like it's getting lou— AHH!" Uhura disappeared from view. 

Kirk froze for half a second, before springing into action. "Uhura!" He darted forward, finding the hole that she had apparently slipped into.

He curled his hands into fists, agonizing over what to do. He could hear her screams echoing in the cavern. The odds that wherever the hole led met up at the end of the tunnel were small.

Kirk steeled himself and dropped inside. 

He was startled into gasping when he was suddenly surrounded on all sides by frigid water. Kirk tried to paddle to the surface, but the current of the stream he appeared to be in was too strong.

He sputtered, tumbling head over heals as he was thrown along into the darkness.

Was this where the others had been transported? Had Spock materialized in a sea of dark water, unable to breathe, confused, alone?

A bright light assaulted his vision. Kirk turned his face towards it, and reached. To his surprise, something reached back. 

A strong hand pulled him onto dry land, and he gasped, coughing hard enough to make his stomach hurt. Water dribbled out of his lips and the taste of salt coated his mouth. He spat, looking around.

Uhura sat next to him, looking just as bedraggled as he felt. Her hair had fallen out of it's usual, elegant style, fizzing about her head in tight curls.

"You... you jumped in after me?"

Kirk coughed again, shifting to lay on his back. "I had to try and save you."

After a short pause, Uhura gave him the warm smile he was used to. "Looks like I'm the one who saved you, Kirk."

This brought a small laugh out of him. "Looks like it..." He blinked, wiping water off his face upon realizing the room they found themselves in was different than the other parts of the cavern. 

This one had lights. Or at least, he was sure it had to. It was bright enough in the room that he could see every crease in the wall clearly, could see the blue powder sprinkled lightly along the floor. However, he could see no evidence of where the light came from, artificial or natural.

"You were right, Uhura," he said, standing slowly. "This place is creepy."

"If you claim to know me Kirk, you'd know that I'm usually right."

Kirk shot his communications officer an amused look. Perhaps it was out of respect, but he was sure he had never seen this cheeky side to the lieutenant. 

It was only the humor they managed to wring out of the situation that kept him sane though.

"All right, I guess we're continuing on from down here..."

"Kirk," Uhura said, pushing hair out of her face. "Did you notice? That was salt water."

"Yes... the more we find out about this strange place the more questions I have."

"I don't care if any of them are answered so long as I get home," Uhura sighed wistfully. 

Kirk gave her a careful glance. "And where exactly is 'home'?"

Uhura paused, staring at the ground. "...I don't know."

"Lucky for you, I do." Kirk gave his friend a smile when she lifted her eyes to meet his, and was satisfied when her lips slowly curled in return. "Come on, let's keep moving. We have to find Mister Spock, and Lieutenant Sulu."

He tried to regain his professionalism, purposely keeping his eyes away from the stream that cut through the area they were in. Unfortunately, it didn't take long to realize the only way out was across the water.

"We'll have to jump," Uhura decided. 

The stream wasn't very long across, but enough that a slip could turn fatal. Kirk nodded. "I'll go first." He held his breath, getting a running leap and flying across. He hit the ground with both feet, stumbling forward a step, but otherwise no worse for the wear.

"Your turn."

Uhura backed up, running and jumping like a gazelle. She cleared the gap without any trouble, and Kirk let go of the breath he'd been holding, waving her towards the only exit. 

They hadn't gotten very far when they heard it.

"Help..."

Kirk stopped. 

"Help... Someone! Captain!"

Kirk let out a small gasp, and then immediately quickened his pace.

Uhura kept the pace, looking at him with a worried expression. "Do you know them?"

"It's Sulu!"


	2. Fascinating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kirk can't get Spock out of his head. Literally.

"Sulu hang in there, we're coming!" Kirk and Uhura raced as fast as they could to the sounds of the navigator in distress, the captain alarmed by the pain plain in the man's voice. He'd never heard Sulu sound so distraught.

The corridor they'd taken went up at an incline, and it didn't take long before ascending became difficult. "I would kill for a few of those stairs right now," Kirk grumbled, leaning forward and using his hands to keep steady.

By the time they reached the room Sulu's voice had come from Kirk had to pull himself up inside, arms and legs tired from climbing so fast. He did not regret it though, for a moment later his eyes landed on his navigator.

Sulu was sprawled out on the floor, tricorder next to him, broken. There was something clearly wrong. He wasn't moving save for a few faint shudders, and one of his legs was bent at an odd angle.

"Sulu!" Kirk moved closer, turning the navigator's head over. He breathed out a sigh of relief when Sulu's dark eyes met his.

"What happened? Were you attacked?"

Sulu shuddered again, managing a small jerk of his head. “Y-yes captain. I didn’t get a good look at it. When we transported in, something grabbed me from behind.”

Kirk felt something warm on his knee, and realized he'd kneeled in a dark puddle.

“I think my ankle is broken, sir. And the tricorder..."

Uhura reacted before he could with a short scream. The navigator was bleeding out from some unseen injury.

Kirk carefully rolled Sulu onto his back, wincing at the pained noises that came from him. "It's all right, we're going to get you fixed up."

Shards of what had to be the broken tricorder were lodged into Sulu's torso, just under his rib cage. Kirk let out a deep breath, looking away from the sight.

"I tried the communicator... I couldn't get ahold of you, or Spock, or Uhura, and I could only talk to Scotty for a minute or two before the signal cut out."

"Sounds like my experience," Kirk said, reaching for his own communicator. He had to try at least once once more, before they figured out what other options were available. "Kirk to Enterprise, Kirk to Enterprise, come in Scotty."

Nothing. He ran a hand through his hair, glancing back at Sulu. He had already lost a lot of blood. "How long have you been lying here, Sulu?"

"I can't be sure, sir."

Kirk thought back to Scotty's words, a deep frown marring his face as he pressed a hand to his chin. "Scotty told me we were an hour late checking in."

"What? But that's impossible!"

"Who's Scotty?" Uhura fiddled with her skirt, and Sulu glanced at her— or did his best, from the position his head was in, frowning.

"What are you talking about, Uhura?"

"She doesn't remember anything." Kirk stood, scouting out the small room they found themselves in. It was much like the one he'd transported into, though a diminutive version. The same glowing moss was on the ceiling, much higher than in the other cavern.

"What? Doesn't remember... _anything_?"

"Not even her own name."

"I'm right here you know," Uhura pointed out, folding her arms across her stomach. She kneeled next to Sulu, looking down at his injuries. "We should pull those shards out so we can wrap up your wounds and stop the bleeding."

Sulu didn't say anything to agree or disagree, a visible shudder running through him. "I don't understand it, captain... I just don't. This planet was supposed to be uninhabited. Have you found Spock?"

"No." It was worrisome. He and Uhura had traversed a lot of ground, but hadn't seen any sign of Spock, hadn't heard his voice, or even seen signs, or footsteps that might indicate another presence. "He must be deeper in the caverns."

Sulu winced, and when Kirk turned, he saw Uhura carefully lifting his shirt over his injuries, soothing noises leaving her throat.

Sulu was in no position to assist in the search for Spock(1), but he couldn't be left alone. "Uhura. You stay and take care of Sulu while I go look for Spock. I'll come back with him and then we can start planning how to get off this rock." He gave a firm nod, though he felt far less confident than he sounded. That was his job though, to stay strong.

"But Kirk, you can't go alone. What if you run into whatever did this to Sulu? I... keep getting this feeling..." Uhura trailed off, eyes searching the walls.

Kirk put on his most reassuring smile, patting the phaser attached to his belt. "I'll be fine, lieutenant."

Sulu opened his eyes to look at him, pain clouding the concerned expression. "Be careful Captain. I know it probably won't work, but... don't give up on the communicator."

Kirk nodded— he had no intention of giving up anything. The captain stood with a low exhale, giving the room they were in one more cursory glance. It was still empty, but he felt uneasy. Uhura and Sulu had two phasers between them, but he still felt loathe to leave them alone.

But Spock was alone. “I’ll be back soon.”

There were two ways out of the cavern. The way he and Uhura had come from, and another passageway. He’d try that first.

Kirk resisted the urge to pull his phaser out while he walked. There was no need to get paranoid just yet. Sulu had been attacked, but it appeared whoever it was had left him alive. Perhaps only because he was no longer a threat, but it was impossible not to be grateful.

The corridor Kirk found himself in upon exiting the cavern was narrow. It was a challenge just walking without turning to the side.

He started to call out Spock’s name, but hesitated. If they weren’t the only ones in these caverns, he didn’t want to draw attention to himself. He could only hope what had hurt Sulu hadn’t gotten to Spock. That he had been transported somewhere relatively safe. That he had all his memories.

Now that he knew Uhura and Sulu were safe, it was all too easy to fall into a panic worrying himself. There was no one to look strong in front of, and Spock was missing.

Kirk paused at a fork, inhaling deeply. If one way didn't lead to anything he'd just double back and try another, but time was of the essence.

They'd already wasted an hour, people on the ship needed the medicine they'd come here for, and _Spock was missing_.

Kirk started to go right, but stopped, frowned. He scratched the side of his head, eying the left tunnel instead. Something told him that was the way. He'd always been one to trust his instincts.

Kirk turned and followed the path that called to him, relieved to find it started to widen out the further he walked.

This whole place was a labyrinth. There was nothing to indicate places he'd already been, but he was loathe to get himself lost.

He paused, looking down at the ground.

That same glowing moss dotted the area around his feet. Kirk kneeled down, sliding his fingers in it and wrinkling his nose.

He drew a starfleet symbol on the wall, the simple shape making it a quick and efficient marker.

Now he'd actually be able to find his way back to the other half of the landing party if he found Spock. When he found Spock. Kirk rolled his shoulders, forcing himself to take another deep breath in, and out. He was useless to Spock if he couldn't keep a clear head.

He continued down the winding pathways, marking the wall with the moss every time he made a turn; and there were many.

He had no idea what this network of tunnels were for— because Uhura had to be right, they couldn't be natural— but he was already cursing their creators.

The only sounds he could hear was his own footsteps. It hit him suddenly how thirsty he was. His mind went back to the stream Uhura and he had found, but then remembered it had been salt water.

Another set of branching tunnels. Kirk stopped, running a hand through his hair.

The footsteps continued.

A twinge of warning went up his spine and he jumped around, whipping out his phaser. In the same moment it was knocked from his hand.

Kirk jerked back instinctively, narrowly avoiding a right hook across the jaw.

The alien that attacked him did not look familiar.

It's skin was not a human shade, nor the green of an Orion or Troyian. Instead it was a vibrant pink, reminding Kirk of sunsets and fresh wounds.

He could not tell if his assailant was male or female. Their hair was twisted in elaborate braids wrapped about their head, and they had a murderous expression on their face.

Kirk pursed his lips, sliding into a defensive stance as he tried to put some room between him and the unknown attacker. "Do these caves belong to you?" he tried, hoping communication might eliminate the need for a fight.

There was no response, save for a wicked kick that Kirk wasn't quite able to dodge.

He grunted as he stumbled into the wall, deciding to try one last time. "I mean you no harm."

The alien lunged at him. Kirk was quick though, and he grabbed the alien's wrist, intent on using it's own momentum against it.

What he wasn't expecting was the high-pierced screech it let out, before he'd done anything but touch.

He let go instinctively, and the alien scrambled back, glowering.

He took a step closer, but it was already darting off.

Kirk frowned, staring down at his hands.

The moss stared back at him.

_"Fascinating."_

Kirk almost smiled, before shaking his head. He had to keep moving.

It didn't make much sense though, for creatures native to this place to have an aversion that strong to the plant life.

There was something he was missing, but he had other things to focus on, keeping his mind distracted.

_"Truly fascinating."_

Kirk paused. What he'd thought to be an errant thought sounded much more like an actual... voice.

A familiar voice.

"...Spock?" Kirk looked around, but saw no trace of his First Officer.

He pressed a hand to his head. Was it just wishful thinking? He didn't even understand how...

Feeling incredibly silly, Kirk wet his lips, deciding to try... thinking, at the voice he'd heard. _"...Spock?"_

_"I believe so."_

A wide smile stretched Kirk's lips, but it immediately fell off his face. 'I believe so'? Kirk took a step away from the wall, looking both ways down the corridor. _"Spock, where are you?"_

_"I believe you are close."_

Kirk turned, looking around. After a second he began to move the way he came, marking the wall as an afterthought.

_"Can you call out? Er— out loud?"_

_"Interesting. Can you not feel my presence?"_

_"Ah..."_

_"I see. I do not mean any insult. For a psi-null species the fact that we can communicate like this at all is no small feat."_

Kirk rubbed his head, steps slow and hesitant. _"I have to admit I'm a little confused as to just how we're doing this..."_

" _Surely we have before, t'hyla?"_

Kirk said "what?" aloud, before remembering, and repeating himself in his head.

_"You are confused. I have not explained the word to you?"_

This was getting them nowhere. _"Nevermind. Let's just focus on finding each other."_

_"If you proceed upon your current trajectory, I believe we will cross paths."_

Confused as he was, Kirk could not deny how good it was to hear Spock's voice. Even if it was only in his head.

Even if that was really, really strange.

Kirk continued walking, choosing the straightest path he could when it split again.

" _Spock?"_ He called, just to make sure he hadn't lost his Vulcan friend, and was relieved when he felt the other was listening.

He couldn't explain it, it was a feeling. Like Spock had turned his head towards him, had given his attention, yet he could confirm it without looking.

 _"What is this?"_ He thought to himself, and was startled when Spock responded.

 _"They appear to be some sort of inorganic caverns. My hypothesis is that they were designed to hold something, most likely one or several organic beings. I've found several pools of still water that seem to be regularly replenished with a drain at the bottom._  

Kirk didn't bother explaining that hadn't been what he was talking about, far too interested in this new development. _"I had a run in with an 'organic being' just a few moments ago. It seemed to be injured by some of the moss growing on the walls."_

_"Fascinating. Safe to say then that the substance— which is undoubtedly not 'moss' as you describe it, or at least not moss that developed on it's own— has been placed to weaken, or perhaps subjugate them._

This was, in a way, mildly reassuring. _"So this place wasn't designed to hold us specifically._  

 _"There's no way of knowing. We are of different species. Perhaps the moss-like substance affects us differently._  

_"We've only been here an hour, there's no way they had time to cover the whole place like this with us in mind."_

_"I have been here approximately one hour and forty seven minutes."_

__Kirk's lips twitched, even as he internally worried about what that time meant for the people on the Enterprise. _"You're right Spock, it has been closer to two hours now. Still not enough time."__ _

Kirk paused, the faint sound of footsteps reaching his ears. "Spock?" he said aloud, and then quickened his pace.

Around the next bend was a tall figure with pointed ears and dark hair and perfect posture. It was all Kirk could do not to run.

"Spock! You're all right."

"Yes."

Kirk walked briskly over, hands clasping Spock's arms before he could think about what he was doing, regarding the man's face with a wide smile.

He squeezed, shaking his head. "It's... good to see you, Mr. Spock."

Spock looked down at Kirk's hands holding his arms, then back up at Kirk's face, eyes traveling over it like he'd never seen him before.

Gradually, Kirk remembered the way Spock had spoken earlier, and he slowly released Spock's arms.

Kirk stared at his friend, desperation leaking into his features. "Tell me you know who I am, Spock."

The Vulcan tilted his head, expression giving nothing away. "I must admit I do not know your name. But, I know you."

Kirk didn't know whether to be relieved or frustrated. He was going to have a serious conversation with Scotty about just how often the transporter caused them trouble if they made it back to the ship. When they made it back.

Kirk took a step back to return Spock his personal space, straightening out his uniform 

He'd left a stain where his moss-covered fingers had gripped the fabric of Spock's blue shirt, and he winced a little when he saw it.

"What do you remember?" _ _  
_ _

Spock shook his head. "Not much. I woke in a cavern, and found this device next to me." He held up the tricorder slung around him, and Kirk let out a breath of relief upon seeing they still had one working. "It did not take much to figure it out. I've learned some fascinating things about the composition of this place."

"That's it?" Kirk pressed. "Do you remember the Enterprise? Who you are?"

Spock regarded him as he thought. Kirk envied the unflappable calm the Vulcan exuded, finding himself unable to help calming as well.

Spock was fine. Everything would work out.

"I know that I am Vulcan. I spent a great deal of time meditating to attempt and access the memories I know I must have. There are a few things that came back to me, mostly regarding my planet, customs, and a great deal of StarFleet protocol."

Heaven forbid that be forgotten.

"I will admit I was sidetracked when I stumbled upon our bond."

This was the first thing Spock had said that Kirk did not understand the slightest bit. He squinted, as if that would help. "Our bond?"

"Yes t'hyla."

"Wh— why do you keep calling me that?"

Spock pursed his lips, one of his eyebrows twitching up a fraction. It was about as confused as Spock ever looked. "I must admit I am at a loss as to why this puzzles you so. I can't imagine I would keep this from you, judging from the strength of our relationship."

Kirk sputtered. "Our- our relationship?"

Spock hummed. "Yes. I have been attempting to contact you through it for some time. It does not seem to have been a bond often used."

"Wait— wait Spock, I don't, I can't..." Kirk could deal with a Spock without his memories. But Spock seemed to have the _wrong_ memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) Haha roll credits haha


	3. T'hyla

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kirk tries to set Spock straight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY OCTOBER
> 
> Preeeeetty sure the next chapter will be the last. If not, second to last. Hope you've enjoyed my little Stare Trek adventure. ^^

****Maybe he was reading into this the wrong way. Spock seemed awfully nonchalant to be talking about their supposed romantic relationship.

"What does— what does 't'hyla' mean?" Kirk asked, butchering the pronunciation of the word. 

Spock was staring at him with those warm brown eyes and Kirk felt lost in space. He _had_ to be reading this the wrong way.

"Friend," Spock explained. "Brother. Lover. That is the closest I can approximate it in your language."

All right, okay, all right. Okay. That was... this was clearly just a misunderstanding. 

Kirk swallowed. "Well, there you have it. We're... we're good friends, Spock. The best. You're very special to me."

Spock nodded. "I know."

"Okay... good. So we're on the same page."

"Were we ever on different pages?" Spock raised one eyebrow.

Kirk ran a hand over his face, feeling ridiculously embarrassed. Of course Spock was talking about their friendship... their completely platonic friendship. Because that was the relationship they had. He wasn’t sure what else he thought Spock _could_ have been talking about, because there wasn’t anything else. “What else can you tell me about this place?”

“I believe I have told you all the useful information I could glean,” Spock said. 

Kirk couldn’t help but notice they were still standing a bit closer than necessary. He took a step back, and then another, watching Spock watch him. 

“Okay. Uh, we should… head back to Sulu and Uhura.”

This made Spock tilt his head. “There are others?” 

“Yes… and many more than that, on the ship.” Kirk winced at the reminder of how little time they had, how many people were relying on them to get the medicine back. Uhura and Spock had lost their memories, and Sulu was injured. He needed to keep it together. 

It would be fine. Spock was okay, and even if he didn’t quite… remember him, he seemed to _know_ him. For whatever reason.

It would be fine.

A gentle touch along the side of his hand startled him into jumping. 

Kirk looked over, seeing Spock had eliminated the personal space he’d so graciously given him. He dropped his eyes down, where Spock doing a very good impersonation of someone holding his hand. “Spock?” His voice came out strangled, and the Vulcan lifted his eyebrow, and Kirk felt like he was about to leap out of his skin.

Spock didn’t touch him. He touched Spock. On the shoulder, on the back. During battle, maybe they both might grab for the other to make sure they were okay, but this was different. They didn’t touch like that. Spock didn’t touch him like that. Not a gentle brush against the side of his palm. A _caress._

“Spock—“

“Captain? Come in Captain?” 

Kirk sprang up like an old Earth jack-in-the-box, snatching the communicator from his belt and taking a large step away from his First Officer. “Scotty? Come in, Scotty?” 

“Captain! S’good to hear from ya! Good news, we think we might have figured out what happened.”

Kirk could hardly believe it. “What, Scotty?”

“Well, not everything is clear yet, Sir, but after doing a few thorough checks Chekov noticed some inconsistencies in the data we’d been getting for the planet’s atmosphere. To be more specific, our sensors recorded that after the four of you transported down, the composition changed, but only for a second. At the time we thought it was an error, but after doing a little digging—“ static rendered Scotty’s voice unintelligible.

Kirk quickly adjusted the small knob on the device, struggling to improve the quality. “Scotty? Scotty, please repeat. Come in, Scotty.”

“Artificial… Purgani… hailed…” The signal cut out completely.

Kirk made a frustrated noise, slamming the communicator shut. All right. Okay. What had Scotty said? ‘ _The composition of the atmosphere changed slightly_ ’. That was unusual. Something artificial… 

“Captain, might I suggest you take a few deep breaths.” 

Kirk jumped at the sound of Spock’s voice, snapping out of his own head. He regarded the other with slightly widened eyes, turning towards him. “Spock? Do you…”

“This ‘Scotty’ referred to you as Captain, and seeing as how we bear the same insignia on our uniforms, I assume I am under your command as well?” 

Kirk let out a breath. “Yes… yes, Mr. Spock. That’s right.”

“What is ‘Purgani’?”

“That’s the name of this planet,” Kirk sighed. “He said something about being hailed… maybe whoever did this to us was trying to contact the ship?”

“That would be fortuitous.” 

“Right… Let’s make our way back to Uhura and Sulu.” Kirk gestured in the direction he came. “I marked the walls with the moss… so I hope there aren’t any ah, delayed effects on me.”

Spock nodded. “How did they fare?”

Kirk frowned and replaced his communicator on his belt as he began walking. “Lieutenant Uhura is also suffering from memory loss… Lieutenant Sulu remembers everything as I do, but he was badly injured at some point after transporting down. He’s already lost a lot of blood, we need to get him back to the ship soon.”

“That is unfortunate.” Spock pursed his lips, blinking slow as he considered their situation. 

Kirk severely hoped that big, beautiful brain of his would come up with a solution that Kirk simply hadn’t thought of yet. 

“If I may Captain, I understand the situation is rather dire, but I am experiencing some distress not being fully aware of myself. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?” 

A smile tugged at Kirk’s lips unbidden. He was supposed to be worried and focused on thinking up a miracle to solve the problem, but in that moment he was just glad Spock was safe. That he’d found him. Even if things were a little… confused, between them. His hand tingled, and he caught it in his opposite one, squeezing hard. “Ask away, Spock.”

“What are my duties on board the ship?”

“You have many. You’re my Science Officer, my First Officer… it would take a day to go through everything you handle.” Kirk turned his head and tossed Spock a small smile, and the Vulcan watched his face with odd intensity. 

“I see. Moving on, why did you react so aversely to my touch?”

Kirk flinched as if Spock had touched him again, drumming his fingers together. “I think I… well, let me ask you a question. Why _did_ you touch me, Spock? I thought… I mean, I was under the impression that on Vulcan, hands are…” He tried to think about a way to say what he wanted without losing the last inch of professionalism he was holding on to.

“Sensitive?” Spock finished helpfully, and it made warmth spread down Kirk’s neck, his chest.

“Ah, yes. Sensitive.”

“I could sense your distress. I was attempting to comfort you. Unfortunately, as I seem to have made that worse, I will refrain from doing so.”

“You could— you read my mind?”

“No, I felt it through the bond.”

Kirk ran a hand through his hair, slowing down his steady walk to a crawl. “This ‘bond’ you keep talking about… I don’t understand. We don’t have any sort of ‘bond’. I’m not even really sure what that is,” he admitted, and them amended, “I mean, isn’t that a Vulcan… a thing for Vulcans?”

Spock looked dismayed. He folded his arms across his chest, head tilting forward. 

Kirk could practically see the calculations running through his brain. 

“Fascinating, Captain. You claim you do not know of a bond, yet the facts that we have spoken through it, and that I can feel you through it, are proof that it does, in fact, exist. Admittedly, it was weak when I discovered it, but it grows stronger with every moment we spend together.”

That made Kirk’s mouth feel dry. A sense of foreboding curled in the pit of his stomach.

“Now, from this information, I believe—“

“Wait, Spock.” Kirk held up a hand, lifting his eyes to bravely meet Spock’s head on. Considering how weak his legs felt, it was quite a challenge. Later on he would congratulate himself for being able to do it. “I… think that perhaps, this is a conversation to be had after you regain your memory.”

Spock tilted his head, studying Kirk’s expression. “As you wish.”

Kirk nodded. “Now, let’s go find the others.”

Following the marks, the journey back to the other half of the landing party went much smoother than the search for Spock had. Kirk noticed for the first time the slightest incline downhill, making each step half a second quicker.

Kirk was grateful the markers he'd made appeared to be undisturbed. And, perhaps a greater benefit, there were no more strange, pink aliens around to challenge them. 

Spock held his tricorder while he walked, observing and gathering what little information there was to be had. 

To avoid the silence that felt crushing, Kirk pulled out his communicator again. "Kirk to Uhura," he said, hoping that even if she didn't remember how to work the device Sulu could explain. "Come in... Uhura?" He wasn't too surprised that there wasn't any response. He sighed and flipped the communicator shut.

The absence of Spock in his peripheral vision made Kirk pause. The Vulcan stood next to the wall, analyzing one of the marks Kirk had left with the moss that wasn't real moss.

"Interesting. There are trace amounts of Andra pollen in this."

Kirk walked over. "You're certain?" The situation seemed too normal, and Kirk blinked, forcing his eyes away from the moss and back to Spock. "You remember our mission? To get the Andra, to make an antidote for the crew?"

Spock tilted his head. "No. For some reason the reading just struck me as very important."

"That's a start," Kirk sighed. "Well, at least we have confirmation that the flowers _are_ here, somewhere."

"Captain, a theory. If we came to harvest a resource from this planet, is it not possible we were punished for doing so?"

Kirk frowned at the suggestion. "Punished? We had barely arrived. No, that's not right... I lost an hour. I have no idea what happened during that time." 

Kirk ran a hand over his forehead, slowly massaging his temples and letting his eyes fall shut. He felt a faint touch to his face, but it was gone before he could really discern what it was. Kirk looked over at Spock, and found his brow lightly furrowed. 

"To be clear, you do not wish me to comfort you when you are in distress?"

Kirk's mouth ran dry. "I..." He cleared his throat. "I don't want you to do anything that would make you uncomfortable."

Spock tilted his head. "Interesting choice of words, Captain." He paused, and then continued. "It occurs to me that I still do not know your first name."

"Jim," Kirk said, eager to end the conversation. "It's Jim."

Spock repeated, "Jim," and Kirk felt like he'd never heard his name said that way before. Like it was something precious. There was so much they needed to talk about. There was so much he was afraid of saying.

So he said none of it. “So um, why can you... 'feel' me, but I can't feel you?"

"It is likely you are simply not equipped to handle it. It is a Vulcan bond, after all, and humans are a psi-null species.”

"Ah... and how do those... form, exactly?"

"It depends on the type of bond. Most Vulcans are paired with their ideal bondmate from children, and a bond is created for them. I am not sure what happened to mine, as it is impossible it was you, but it has certainly been severed."

Kirk frowned. "She ended up marrying someone else... that's a story for another time. Let's keep moving." He gestured ahead, and they walked as Spock went on.

"Other bonds can be created spontaneously, or for practical purposes. All Vulcans share a link to one another, which could be described as its own sort of bond."

"I... see..." This was all a little much to take in. He wanted to know all the facts, but he also didn’t want to start asking questions he wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer to. 

Uhura and Sulu were close. Kirk resigned himself to waiting a little longer. 

As they closed in on the room he’d left his other two crew members, Kirk could hear talking. Relief flooded him, eased the knot in his stomach that had been tied tight wondering if any of those pink aliens had attacked while he was away. 

“It appears we’ve reached our destination.” Spock sounded in oddly good humor. 

Spock had always been a little hard to read, but Kirk found the Vulcan at his peak in the oddest situations. 

“Mister Spock!” Sulu’s relieved voice floated to the two of them as they moved into the cavern. 

Uhura looked up from Sulu’s side, a small smile on her face. 

There was a soft crackling sound, and Kirk realized there was a communicator in the Communications Officer’s hand. She held it up to Sulu’s mouth, and Kirk’s eyes widened. 

“You reached the Enterprise?”

“Yes sir,” Sulu said, voice a little stronger than when Kirk had left. “I have Scotty on now.”

Kirk hurried over and kneeled down, wetting his lips. “Scotty, can you hear me?”

“Oh Cap’n, is your voice a sound for sore ears!”

A smile twitched across Kirk’s lips, and he ducked his head a little, letting out a small, relieved sigh. Then, in his ‘Captain voice’, he ordered, “Report.” 

“Aye sir. You’ll be glad to know that the Frezarans have delivered the Andra flowers, as promised.”

Kirk’s eyes widened. “The what? When?”

“Sorry sir, I forgot that you… I tried to tell you earlier, but you kept breaking up. The Frezarans contacted us some time ago now, demanding to know why we were in their airspace. Thankfully they’re the kind to listen to reason.”

This didn’t make any sense. “Are the Frezarans… do they have pink skin?”

“Oh no sir, they seem to have human-like skin tones, though leaning towards the darker side.”

“It appears that whatever attacked you was not a Frezaran,” Spock added.

Kirk ran a hand through his hair. “Get them working on that antidote as quickly as possible, Scotty,” he commanded, though he knew it was unnecessary.

“Of course sir. We’ll have everyone good as new in a flash.”

“How are things coming on the transporter?”

“That’s the other thing Cap’n. The Frezarans apologized profusely for the mix up—”

“Mix up,” Kirk muttered. Two of his officers had lost their memories, and one had been injured. That was a little more than a simple mix up. 

“—They lifted the shield that was preventing our communications from going through but we’re only allowed to speak for a short while before they’ll be putting it up again. They don’t want any Tarfel signals getting in or out.”

“Tarfel?” All this was getting to be a little too much. He had too many questions and not enough answers. “How much longer do we have, Scotty?” 

“Not long sir.”

“All right… Tell me this. Do you have a way to get us out of here?” 

“Yes sir, if I have it my way we’ll have you out of there before Mister Spock can find anything ‘fascinating’.”

Kirk smiled, resisting the urge to look back at Spock to see if he’d heard. “All right Scotty, we’re counting on you. Kirk out.”

He nodded to Uhura, who flipped the communicator closed. 

He didn’t like it. He didn’t like being left in the dark, even knowing that the people who needed their medicine would get it soon. Who were the Frezarans? Why didn’t the Federation know about them? What was the Tarfel? 

Why could he and Spock communicate telepathically?

Kirk shook his head, standing with a long sigh.

For now, all they could do was wait.

“It’s frustrating, isn’t it captain?” Sulu sent him a sympathetic smile. Despite speaking a bit better, he still looked pale. He hadn’t moved an inch since Kirk left, and though Uhura had done her best with the wound, there was still blood everywhere.

Kirk swallowed. “We will trust the Enterprise to get us home, Lieutenant.” He returned the smile, smoothing his hands down his sides.

Sulu’s eyes turned to Spock. “It’s good to see you, Mister Spock.”

“I will say the same for you, although I have no memories of our interactions.”

Sulu blinked, then narrowed his eyes, nostril’s flaring. “You too?”

Kirk nodded. “Mister Spock has been able to recover some of his memory… but most things appear to be lost to him, just like Uhura.” Things like what, exactly, they were to each other. 

That was a concern for later.

“I have been remembering some things, Captain,” Uhura said almost shyly from her place next to Sulu. “I remember the Bridge… some of my duties as Communications Officer.”

Why was Starfleet regulation the first thing coming back to them?

Kirk couldn’t help but smile though, a second dose of relief hitting him hard enough to chip away some of the tension in his shoulders. “Good. That’s good, Lieutenant. At least we know whatever happened isn’t permanent…” He glanced over to Spock, who was eyeing Sulu’s injury with concern.

“Are you in a lot of pain?”

“I’ll be fine for a little longer.” Sulu sounded sure, but his pallor was worrisome. 

“Hopefully it will only be a ‘little longer’.” Kirk rested his hands on his hips, looking around. It felt like there had to be something they could do in the meantime; but there wasn’t. 

Uhura was checking Sulu’s wound, and Spock had wandered off to take readings on the far side of the cavern.

Kirk watched Spock move, taking in the curve of his neck as the stared at the screen of the tricorder, the curve of his lips. 

Friend. Brother. Lover.

With no goal to focus on, his mind kept wandering back to Spock’s odd behavior. It was still him, yet…

Kirk held the hand that Spock had touched, trying to make sense of it all. “ _…Spock_?”

He saw Spock straighten, saw him look over. Kirk looked to Uhura and Sulu, feeling like they had to hear him, so present and full was the word in his head, but they didn’t react. 

_”Yes, Captain?”_

_”Er, nothing. I guess I just… wanted to see if it really worked.”_ Still no reaction from the others. Kirk didn’t know how to react. 

_”Of course. We’ve tested the bond many times already.”_

Spock sounded bewildered by his illogical experiment. It was cute and Kirk reminded himself that Spock was a fully grown man who wouldn’t appreciate being called cute.

_”I don’t mind, Jim, I understand the sentiment.”_

Kirk choked on an inhale and sputtered, and that time Sulu and Uhura did turn to look at him.

“Is everything all right?” Uhura asked, her eyebrows sliding up towards her hair. 

“Yes,” he assured them, pressing his hands into his hips and trying not to look at Spock. Having Spock in his head was dangerous. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had such a hard time figuring out where to end this.


	4. Spock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They return to the ship, but Kirk feels like his troubles are far from over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought this would be the last chapter, but it was getting a little long compared to the others, so I cut it off. Next one should be it!

Uhura and Sulu quickly went back to ignoring him, and Kirk did not blame them. He blamed himself, for being unable to ignore himself. It was a vicious cycle of telling himself not to think about something, then thinking of it, then telling himself not to think of it, and on, and on.

He looked at Spock, stomach clenching tight enough to hurt. Just how much of what was in his head could Spock hear? How much was he listening to? How much did he know…

_”I must apologize.”_

The words forced Kirk to look back at Spock, who seemed to have abandoned whatever he had been analyzing in favor of facing his direction. Spock tilted his head, and then began walking closer.

Kirk had the bizarre urge to back up. Instead he rested his hands on his hips, swallowing back the stutter he was sure would come out if he spoke aloud.

“It was remiss of me to not take into consideration you cannot raise mental shields. All your thoughts reach for me so strongly it did not occur to me you may not want me to hear them.”

Kirk didn’t completely understand what that meant, but felt embarrassed nonetheless. He was the captain of a starship, and yet Spock had the power to make him feel two inches tall. “It’s... all right, Mister Spock. I’m just not used to this whole...”

He made a gesture that made Spock raise an eyebrow, but the Vulcan nodded for him. “Yes, I’ve gathered. I’ll raise my own shields, so that I won’t receive any unintended communication through the bond.”

Kirk wasn’t quite sure how relieved he should feel by that statement. Even so, he knew Spock would never intentionally invade his privacy. It was just hard to process that he could accidentally invade it, now.

“What are you two talking about?” Uhura squinted at Kirk, then Spock, and Kirk realized they were well within distance to hear their conversation.

“Don’t worry about it, Lieutenant,” Kirk said before Spock could dig the hole they were standing in deeper with any of his infallible honesty.

Spock adjusted a few things on his tricorder, and hummed. “Captain. There are three lifeforms making their way towards us.” Kirk’s attention was immediately diverted. His eyes flicked towards both entrances into the cavern, and he stepped quickly towards Sulu. “Phasers on stun.”

The phrase fell from his lips automatically, but both Spock and Uhura looked just a touch baffled, before reaching for the weapons on their hips and checking the settings with varying levels of proficiency.

They could hear footsteps before they saw anyone, and Kirk used the noise to pinpoint the entrance they’d be coming through. The beings that appeared were much larger than Kirk was expecting. Otherwise, they did indeed look humanoid, as Scotty described, assuming these were the Frezarans.

“Which of you is Captain Kirk?” The tallest Frezaran in the center of her two companions asked. She appeared female, and her head was free of hair, smooth as an egg.

“I’m Captain Kirk,” Kirk said, stepping forward.

“I am Leil. We have come to return you to your ship, Enterprise. Please come with us, before any of the prisoners attempt to interfere.”

“Prisoners?” Sulu asked from his place on the ground as Uhura breathed ‘thank goodness.’

Even Spock looked mildly surprised by the word.

Leil gave a short nod. “Yes. This planet is used as a Frezaran prison. I apologize for your wrongful incarceration. Now, come with us.”

Succinct and to the point. After hours of guessing and fragments of information, Kirk appreciated that.

“We have a man injured here, he needs immediate medical attention. How far will we need to move him before he can be beamed up?”

“Not far,” Leil assured. “Have your Vulcan carry him.”

Spock, being the strongest of the three of them, was a logical suggestion. Spock walked over to Sulu and kneeled down, carefully getting a hold on the navigator. “I apologize for any discomfort I cause you.”

The little group began moving through the cramped tunnels together. Kirk at the front of his crew, unable to help eyeing the Frezarans just a bit warily. “Tell me something, Leil. What is a Tarfel?”

“Not a what, but a who. The Tarfel and my people have been at war for the better part of a century. They are greedy, dumb creatures.”

“War? Over what?” It was incredible to him that a war could have been going on in this quadrant of the galaxy without Star Fleet noticing, for all these years. Of course, it wouldn’t be the first time. Space was large, and the Federation did not make up all of it.

Leil turned her head, staring down her nose at him. “Our reasons do not concern you. This planet you find yourselves on is a carefully planned trap for Tarfel infiltrators. When we discovered your ship we assumed you were part of their fleet.”

“I see... why didn’t you attempt hailing us? A simple chat could have sorted this all out.” Kirk did not like that a misunderstanding had nearly gotten one of his men killed, and had damaged the memories of two more.

“There is no ‘chatting’ with the Tarfel. The Andra flower your crew needed is very valuable to the Tarfel as well, and we will get the occasional ship foolish enough to stop here, despite knowing it is our territory.”

“Sensors showed this planet is uninhabited,” Kirk pointed out.

“Like I said, a carefully planned trap.”

Leil led them to a wall that looked perfectly ordinary, until she tapped a panel on the side in some strange pattern, and then it slid open. The two other Frezarans stayed behind until everyone had moved through, and then followed.

The room they exited into looked much different from the caves. It was sleek white and silver, and their shoes made hard sounds against the floor as they moved.

“Where are we going?” Kirk asked as Leil led them down a long hallway, lights all up the sides.

“To a place where you can be transported back on to your ship.”

The relief that followed this statement couldn’t be measured. Kirk was not sure how long they’d been in those tunnels but he was so eager to get back to the Enterprise it hurt. That wasn’t even counting the stress all of them had been put under physically. They needed food, and clean, safe water, as soon as possible. And just about everyone besides him needed medical attention.

Finally they were led to a room where several other Frezarans were working on what appeared to be standing computer terminals, though the technology was unlike anything Kirk had ever seen.

In the center was a slightly raised platform, and it was towards there Leil directed them.

“We have discussed this with your teammates, Captain Kirk, but I will reiterate again. Your Federation holds no sway in this part of the galaxy. We have no desire to become involved.”

In any other situation this would be a time for talks of diplomacy. Right now, Kirk simply said, “I understand.”

Leil nodded, and then gestured to another Frezaran across the room.

They pressed a button on the control panel in front of them, and then leaned forward. “You may beam them up now, Mr. Scott, from the coordinates we sent you earlier.”

Everything after that happened remarkably fast.

They were greeted on board the Enterprise by Nurse Chapel, and a surprisingly jovial McCoy, who took Sulu from Spock and immediately moved him to the medical bay. Scotty smiled and Kirk praised his leadership and instructed Spock and Uhura to follow after Chapel and McCoy.

After a cursory check up on the bridge and making sure they were on course to navigate far, far away from Purgani, Kirk returned to his quarters, where he fell back on the bed and attempted to process everything that had happened.

Under different circumstances he would have stayed on the bridge and finished out the shift he’d missed while in the tunnels. He felt a little weary, but hardly anything to complain about. Certainly nothing compared to his teammates. But now that everyone was safe and sound, and the Enterprise was out of harms way, there was only one thing his mind would let him focus on.

Spock.

_I could sense your distress. I was attempting to comfort you._

_I don’t mind, Jim, I understand the sentiment._

He had so many questions. How long had this ‘bond’ that Spock spoke of been there? How had it formed? Why?

He and Spock had been close for a long time. ‘T'hyla’ meant friend, brother, lover... Was it possible for their close friendship to have formed such a bond?

Or...

Kirk swallowed, sitting up and sliding his legs off the bed so he could plant his feet firmly on the floor.

Or? Or what? Spock was a purely logical being, certainly he wouldn’t... it was impossible for...

He couldn’t even think it. It felt like he was tainting something, wanting... hoping—

Kirk’s took in a breath, pacing the length of his room once, twice, before making a hasty exit and moving towards the medical bay.

When he arrived, Bones met him at the door. “Jim! Excellent, saved me the trouble of coming to look for you.”

“Shouldn’t you be resting?” Kirk asked, already wary of where this was headed.

Bones grinned in that way of his, leading Kirk over to an empty bed. “That Andra worked like a charm, once Nurse Chapel got it processed. Everyone who was suffering from the Parcelian flu has been cleared for active duty, or rest in their quarters, should they choose.”

The smile dropped off his face, and he narrowed his eyes until Kirk climbed up onto the bed with a sigh.

“You, however, have not been. You were down on that unknown planet for hours Jim, there’s no telling what averse affects it could have had on your system.”

“I feel fine.” Kirk looked around, pleased to see how empty the med bay looked compared to the last time he was here. Sulu and Uhura were laid out in beds of their own, resting peacefully. Kirk felt a small pang of disappointment, then guilt for it. “Where’s Mr. Spock?”

“You know I can never keep that hobgoblin here for longer than a few minutes at a time. He insisted meditation in his quarters would be the best medicine for him.”

“Ah...” Of course. Kirk frowned, irritated with himself. He’d come to the med bay to check on everyone, not just Spock. “How are Sulu and Uhura?”

“Oh, they’ll be just fine. Sulu lost a good amount of blood, but he’s hanging in there. Uhura... she seems to be recovering memories at a rapid rate, though there are still a few things she’s fuzzy on.”

Bones turned on the monitoring systems above the bed and began taking his vitals, while Kirk tried to figure out how to phrase the question he wanted to ask.

“And... Mr. Spock? How did he seem, before he left?”

“Prickly as usual.”

The answer didn’t tell him what he wanted to know. “His memory?” He prompted, and Bones glanced down.

“He seemed completely lucid to me, though if his case is anything like Uhura’s there are still some things he doesn’t remember. I wouldn’t worry, Jim, it’ll come back to him.”

“I’m not worried,” Kirk corrected, a little too quick.

“Sure, sure.”

Bones poked and prodded at him until Kirk had had enough, and managed to get the man to release him with a promise that he would go straight to his room, eat, then rest.

He fully intended to do that, he was starving. Now that the thought had been planted in his mind, he could feel the effects of the extended time without food. He felt a little dizzy, his empty stomach panged with need.

But, as he passed Spock’s quarters, he couldn’t help the way he stopped short.

Surely there was a conversation required. He couldn’t simply go back to business as usual, not after what had happened. Not after what Spock had said. Not after the way Spock had touched his hand.

The memory of that gentle caress sent a shiver down Kirk’s spine, and he took a step away from the door, inhaling deeply.

Maybe it was time to admit his own... feelings on the issue were clouding his judgement. If Spock wanted to talk about it, he would have come to him.

Forced to acknowledge this fact, Kirk sighed and turned away from the slab of metal keeping him and Spock apart.

It was easy to ignore any stray emotions for his First Officer when Spock himself remained emotionless. He knew that Spock _did_ feel, but the calm veneer he maintained at all times helped Kirk steady himself.

If only it hadn’t seemed quite so real.

The quiet affection, the logical, assured words, the easy way he’d spoken to Kirk, even with half his memory gone. It was what Kirk imagined being in a relationship with Spock might be like. Not that he’d ever spent much time allowing himself to imagine. A bit of fantasy now and then was all well and good, but he’d never felt truly comfortable with it, knowing how Spock could react.

_Captain, I must ask you to refrain from thinking of me in such a manner. It is highly inappropriate._

_Captain, while I am flattered by your interest, my feelings for you are entirely platonic._

_Captain, I am frankly disgusted by the mere suggestion._

All right, Spock would never go that far, but the idea of it killed something inside Kirk all the same.

Maybe it was for the best that they just pretend nothing happened. Nothing _had_ happened. A mysterious Vulcan bond did not lovers make.

“Captain?”

Kirk jumped, turning and seeing Yeoman Rand observing him with a raised eyebrow.

“Er, yes, Yeoman?”

“You’ve been standing there for a good minute now. Everything okay?”

Kirk gave a sharp nod. “Of course, Yeoman. Just lost in thought.” Another nod, and he forced himself down the hall, back to his room. He was already allowing this to distract him.

Once inside his quarters, he fired up his personal replicator and chowed down on the first thing he could think of. He tried to make his mind go blank and when that didn’t work, he started his computer and began the report of their mission that was bound to take hours to type up, letting himself get lost in the mindless paperwork.

Eventually, he grew tired enough to let himself fall into bed, turning the lights off with a softly uttered command.

Dark.

Quiet.

Kirk tried to sleep, but no matter how exhausted he was blessed dreams would not come.

His mind worked too fast. At first it stayed on the report he’d written, wondering if he’d missed anything, if he’d mentioned too much or not enough, but inevitably it wandered.

A bond. A bond with Spock. A physical representation of everything they meant to one another. He desperately wanted to understand.

It was that feeling of desperation that made him reach out. He didn’t even realize what he was doing until he felt it, felt the gentle probe of his mind against something familiar, comforting, yet foreign.

It was like thinking then suddenly feeling real sensation, and Kirk nearly gasped, realizing with a start what it had to be. Humans were a psi-null species, but Kirk certainly felt something as he reached out further, prodding against what had to be the bond, what had to be Spock.

So close, so far away.

As soon as he made contact a rush of warmth flooded him so quickly he did gasp, audibly, tingles rolling through him in waves and settling low in his stomach.

It felt like being wrapped up in impossibly strong arms, like being watched with a warm, chocolate gaze, it felt like hovering a step away from madness and Kirk opened his eyes, needing it to _stop_ , before he did something unwise.

Even though he couldn’t see anything in the darkness of the room, that seemed to do it, his focus broken, ripping away from that spot in his mind that he was so drawn to.

He was still warm.

Kirk groaned, rolling onto his stomach and taking in a deep breath. Suddenly he was struck with a terrifying thought— had Spock felt that?

He couldn’t go poking around with things he didn’t understand.

No, they _had_ to talk about this. They _had_ to, before Kirk ruined their relationship with curiosity and temptation and want that felt too much like need to be fair.

In the morning. He’d go to Spock’s quarters as soon as he’d woken up and ask for a meeting with the Vulcan. They’d talk. Maybe over a game of chess. It would be normal and Kirk would smile easily and ask the questions he needed to know and then it would be over, and they’d never speak of it again.

In the morning.

At that moment, Kirk swallowed thickly and pressed a hand to his stomach, trying to figure out how he could possibly be so affected by something he couldn’t even see.

His hand felt warmer than usual through his Star Fleet issued, black pajamas. His fingers dipped under the fabric, and then twitched lower.

Someone knocked on the door.

Kirk froze, the warm tingles quickly fading to cold shivers.

He sat up, took a breath, squeezed his knees. “Computer, lights to fifty percent.”

When he felt in control of himself, Kirk stood and walked to the door. When it opened, all that control flew out the window. “Spock,” Kirk choked out, horribly embarrassed. He didn’t know if Spock’s shields were still up, if he knew what he was feeling, if he’d somehow unwittingly summoned him through the bond—

“Captain,” Spock said, and it felt like ice water had been dumped on Kirk’s head. ‘Captain’. Not ‘Jim’.

“Is something wrong, Mr. Spock?” He tried affecting a serious tone, but wasn’t sure if he succeeded or not.

Spock watched him for a second, and Kirk struggled to keep his face straight, positive Spock could see back in time, could see him in his bed, could see his wandering hands wishing they were someone else’s.

“In a way. May I come in?”

Kirk wanted to refuse, but could not think of a reason to. “Of course.” he smiled, but Spock only stared at him. It lasted long enough that Kirk faltered. “Spock?”

“Yes.” Spock walked past him into the room, and Kirk was embarrassed when he noticed the Vulcan smelt of the subtle, minty shampoo he knew Spock preferred.

He was sure there was something in Starfleet regulation that banned sniffing your First Officer.

He normally had such good control of himself. He could watch Spock bend over his science station all day without batting an eyelash, or letting it affect him in the slightest.

But one small, simple touch of a hand against his and where was his self control?

Spock turned to face him, but didn’t meet his eyes, instead staring somewhere over his head.

The door slid shut, and Kirk rested his hands on his hips, wondering if he should turn up the lights. He felt unusually vulnerable though, and for some reason the dimness helped.

“What is it, Spock?”

“Captain. I’d like to apologize for my conduct earlier.”

Spock remembered. Kirk swallowed at the notion, unsure how to read this reaction.

“There is no need for apologies, Spock.”

Spock shook his head. “There is very dire need for an apology, Captain. I nurtured a bond that you were not aware of and invaded your private thoughts without your express permission. I have just finished up my misconduct report to Starfleet Command and have sent it to you to be reviewed before submission.”

“Misconduct— Spock, there’s no need for that.”

“Mental assault is a very serious offense, Captain, and I wish you would treat it that way.”

Spock did indeed look serious as the grave. Kirk gave him a reassuring smile, reaching out to press his hands against his arms. To comfort. Before he made contact Spock flinched, and took a step back.

Kirk froze.

He barely kept his expression from falling into one of devastation, only doing so by freezing the smile on his face until he was sure it had turned into something odd.

“I... apologize, Captain, I just... my shields have not been properly fortified. Touching me now might result in unintended transference of emotion.”

“Ah... yes. I’m sorry.” This was what he’d been worried about. Spock had never flinched away from his touch, before. Spock had to know. Kirk’s throat worked involuntarily, and he swallowed again, lifting a hand to run through his hair. “I assure you, Mr. Spock, there is no need for a misconduct report. You weren’t in your right state of mind, and I’m suffering no averse effects from your actions.”

Spock hesitated, and Kirk knew he was close to cracking him. There was no way he was letting Spock file that report, if only due to the embarrassment it would cause both of them.

“It was a gross invasion of your privacy...”

Kirk waved a hand. “So you heard a few thoughts.”

“It wasn’t just thoughts, Captain.” Spock paused, and dropped his gaze to the ground. “When you touched me... when we reunited, you held on to my arms. I was still rather caught off guard as I was unaware of our previous relationship, I had not bothered with my shields. It was not my intention, but your emotions were so strong, everything you feel for me flooded my head.”

Kirk paled. “Everything I...?”

“I am not used to such extended contact with another mind and allowed the feeling to cloud my judgement.”

“Wait. Spock. What do you mean, ‘everything I feel for you’?”

Spock didn’t look up, and Kirk felt his pulse tick up faster with every passing minute. “I am sorry, Captain.”


	5. Of Course

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kirk realizes that there’s a lot he hasn’t realized.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter than I thought it would be, but hopefully you guys still enjoy! I’m happy to bring this short fic to an end, it was fun trying my hand at Star Trek. Maybe next time I’ll shoot for something longer!

I’m sorry.

Spock knew how he felt about him, and all he had to say was ‘I’m sorry’.

Kirk couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, could only force a small smile and attempt desperately to get his lungs working.

“I am aware they are not feelings you would have shared with me voluntarily. I respect your decision not to do so and never intended on forcing you to acknowledge them. I will be able to... sever our bond soon. I apologize for not doing so immediately upon its creation, but as I did not think you would ever realize it was there I did not see the need to bring it to your attention...”

It took a second to process this. Spock was rambling, and Kirk held up a hand to silence him. “You knew about the... bond? Before this whole mess?”

Spock said nothing for several seconds, before giving a short nod. “I did not form it purposefully. I did not think it was possible, as you are human.”

He paused again, and Kirk was hard pressed to bid him to go on. There was a need to go on, but also a want not to know. Not to hear Spock apologize again. Kirk took a breath and made himself focus, tried to smile. “That’s all right, Mr. Spock. That’s fine. Ah... I er, suppose I should be apologizing to you then, for making you uncomfortable.”

Spock raised an eyebrow, and for a second all Kirk could do was be grateful that Spock was back to normal. He’d learned time and time again that Spock was more resilient than he looked, but that didn’t stop him from worrying.

“And it’s good to have you back.” Kirk stopped himself from saying Spock’s name again, wetting his lips. “But a misconduct report is unnecessary. Let’s just put this whole episode behind us.” It was obvious Spock didn’t like that idea, but he gave a reluctant nod regardless.

“As you wish, Captain.” Spock stood there for a few seconds, like he might say something else, but then he gave another short nod, and moved towards the door.

Kirk watched his retreating back, Spock’s words bouncing around in his head. They’d be echoing in there a long time. Especially that apology. I’m sorry. _I’m sorry._.

Spock had nearly reached the door when something occurred to him. “Wait, Spock. What did you mean... you never intended on forcing me to acknowledge them? Are you saying...” It had never occurred to Kirk before, and the very idea made his ears and neck warm with embarrassment. “Are you saying you knew how I felt about you before all this?”

He never would have guessed. Spock had never acted any different around him, after his feelings changed. He’d been so careful not to let anything through, not wanting to risk their friendship. For how long had Spock...?

Spock looked at him over his shoulder, and then turned around completely, looking baffled as his brows inched closer together. “Of course.”

“Of...” The world seemed to tilt around Kirk, each limb going stiff and cold one at a time. That tight feeling in his lungs returned. He pressed a hand to his forehead, taking in a deep breath. “Of _course_? Spock— of—"

“As I said, I respect your decision not to acknowledge it. You are my superior, and the two officers of our respective ranks entering a relationship is not allowed under Starfleet regulation seven dash—"

Kirk pressed the other hand to his forehead, staring at Spock hard. “You _respect my decision?_ ” Nothing made sense.

Spock watched him flounder for a few seconds, before tilting his head. “That is the reason why you did not acknowledge it? I could not think of any other logical reason, after I made my own feelings on the matter so clear.”

Spock stood there, hands loosely clasped behind his back, casual as you please, and ripped the ground out from underneath Kirk’s feet. Kirk fell into an abyss of confusion and questions and it took a full minute before he found his footing again. Thankfully, Spock seemed content to wait patiently for him to remember how to speak. “Spock.”

“Jim,” Spock returned, raising an eyebrow, and Kirk took a hesitant step forward.

This time when he reached out, Spock didn’t flinch away. Kirk rested his hands against the Vulcan’s upper arms and squeezed, trying to find words. “Spock, I don’t care about _Starfleet Regulation_. Are you saying you feel the same?”

Spock’s other eyebrow raised up, and this time baffled did not cut it. While the expression was still subdued, on Spock he might as well have been slack-jawed. “ _Of course_ , Jim. I—“

It was clear words only confused things. This conversation would continue going in circles until Kirk did something about the burning need to act swirling in his chest. He leaned forward, slotting his mouth against Spock’s maybe a bit too hard, a bit too eager. Spock’s lips were warm and smooth and made sparks appear behind his eyelids.

The ground grew more solid, the room stopped tilting, and for a fraction of a second everything made sense.

Kirk felt Spock tense under his touch, and pulled back, exhaling. “Sorry, Spock, I forgot, Vulcans don’t...” It seemed like a woeful waste of such a perfect mouth, but Kirk would give up a lot of things if it meant he could call Spock his.

“It’s fine. You simply caught me off guard.” Spock raised a hand like he might touch his lips, but then let it fall again. Spock met his eyes.

Kirk thought his cheeks might break, he was smiling so hard. The curve on Spock’s lips was significantly shallower, but it was there, and Kirk wanted to taste it. “Will you show me? The Vulcan way.” Kirk raised a hand, and Spock’s gaze followed it up. Spock lifted his own hand, two fingers extended, and a small shiver ran down Kirk’s spine when their skin touched. Spock ran the pads of long, slender digits down the side of Kirk’s, brown eyes fixed on hazel, and Kirk’s knees went a little weak. He wasn’t Vulcan, but it felt... intimate. He watched, mesmerized by the sight of Spock’s fingers running over his.

When he reciprocated, Spock’s pupils dilated and his lips parted by millimeters and Kirk had to kiss him again.

Spock kissed him back this time, by inches, just pressure and a soft exhale, and Kirk wrapped his free arm around Spock’s waist, bringing him closer. Spock was just tall enough that he had to tilt his head up to meet him— that was new. He’d always been far more fascinated by that creature ‘woman’ than man, but Spock made him feel like it was only logical to want him.

Kirk set about teaching Spock how to kiss the human way, licking his way into Spock’s mouth and tangling their fingers together.

Spock abruptly turned his head, and Kirk’s attempt to follow his mouth made his lips brush clumsily against Spock’s smooth cheek.

“Jim,” Spock said, and his voice was more flustered than Kirk had ever heard when they were out of danger. “We should not just ignore Starfleet regulation seven dash—“

“Spock,” Kirk interrupted, mirth in his tone. “I don’t care about the regulation. We don’t have to tell anyone. And if you want to, we can petition the rule. We’re Starfleet’s best, and they know we work well together. But we can worry about that later.” Kirk squeezed Spock a little closer, his thumb slipping just underneath the blue fabric of Spock’s uniform shirt. “Right now, I want to kiss you until I’ve memorized how it feels, and then a little more after that.”

Spock blinked at him, and it occurred to Kirk that his typical brand of romance may not be as effective on a Vulcan as it was on Earth women. He’d only told the truth, though.

Spock tilted his head, eyes dropping for the split second it took for Kirk to realize he was looking at his mouth, and then said “that seems logical.”

 

 

“How are you feeling, Uhura?”

Uhura smiled up at McCoy, her memories of him floating dizzily just out of reach. She could recall the doctor’s gentle, Southern charm, his bright blue eyes, but very little else. Even so, other things were coming back. She could recall that she was indeed the Communications officer, and was aware that there were several languages under her grasp.

“Much better after resting a bit,” she sighed, trying to sit up a little in bed.

McCoy scribbled something down on his clipboard and nodded. “Good, good. Things coming back to you?”

“In pieces.” Uhura hummed. “Tell me something though, Doctor. Why is it that I forgot everything, but Spock still remembered he was in a relationship with the Captain? I—”

“What?” McCoy dropped his clipboard, but managed to catch it before it clattered to the ground, a dumbfounded look on his face. “Spock and Jim aren’t— Uhura, maybe your memories are more affected than I thought.”

Uhura frowned. “Oh no, doctor. I didn’t remember whether they were or not, but it was obvious just by looking at them.”

McCoy stared at her hard, and Uhura blinked, and then pursed her lips. “Don’t tell me _you never noticed_?”

“No I— _of course I noticed,_ everyone on the ship noticed, but they’re not actually...”

“ _Really_?”

“Oblivious, those two.”

Uhura shook her head in disbelief.

“What are you talking about?”

Uhura glanced over at the bed next to her, where it appeared Sulu had just woken up. “The captain and Mr. Spock.”

“What? No.”

“Yes!”

“Why do you think Christine gave up on the hobgoblin?” McCoy chimed in, and Sulu gave him a blank look. “...Sulu, what do you _do_ all day?”

 

 

_Captain's personal log, stardate 62.00. Shore leave to allow our crew to fully recover from the Parcelian Flu outbreak starts in six hours. I’ve managed to persuade First officer Spock, who was looking particularly chipper this morning, to join me rather than continue his latest experiment in the lab. I speculate his good mood was due to my latest attempts at..._ studying _half Vulcan, half human biology. It’s looking like this particular field is entirely too complex to fully comprehend in one life time. I’m looking forward to giving it a go._


End file.
